I’m Back! Life Update! It’s a Girl!

 

Hello! I’m back! It’s 2017 and I’ve been away, busy growing another baby girl! I’ve hated missing out on all the activism going on with the election, MLK day, the Women’s March etc. But I was not well enough to participate. I was cheering everyone on from my bed, lol. I will mostly be posting vlogs in 2017 because of the pregnancy and having a baby and all. My channel will probably become pretty personal for a while. Posting vlogs instead of interviews will just be easier for me during this time in my life. Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to my channel on YouTube and LIKE my Facebook page! Thank you for your support! Bethany

My Interview With Michelle Salas

In this interview Michelle and I talk about body image issues, eating disorders, fat shaming, raising boys to respect women, her childhood in Mexico, and growing up with big boobs. It’s awesome, she’s hilarious. Enjoy!

If you’d like to digest it in smaller bits, I have a playlist called “Interview Clips: Issues Girls and Parents Face” where you can watch clips of the interview one topic at a time, but I highly recommend watching the whole interview.

pos2

Michelle is passionate about motherhood, cake, and salsa dancing. Her day starts at 5am with exercise, then she fills it with homeschooling and hiking with her boys and running her very special bakery with her friend Isa. Here’s a quote from their website:

“We create hand-crafted homemade baked art for your special occasions. It is our mission to provide you with beautiful works of edible art made from scratch with Love.”

I highly recommend you visit their beautiful website.

And don’t forget to Like their Facebook page!

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Links and Resources From The Interview

On the sexualization of women:
http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/index.aspx
http://therepresentationproject.org/film/miss-representation/
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/24/3/312

Blog posts on the F-Word:
https://www.bustle.com/articles/119779-21-fat-women-on-why-theyre-not-afraid-to-say-the-f-word-photos
https://wellnesswithjoanna.com/2014/10/08/on-why-we-dont-use-the-f-word-and-other-family-rules/

HeForShe

Everyday Feminism: Want to Raise Your Kids with Positive Body Image? You’ve Got to Avoid Doing These 4 Things (And Try Some Others Instead)

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

Ted Talk The Sexy Lie: Caroline Heldman

Ted Talk I’m A Model: Cameron Russell

Emma Watson’s speech

 

Images found from the following sites:

http://www.beautyredefined.net/what-we-think/
http://www.doublequotes.net/quotes/relationship-quotes-i-can-encourage-my-daughter-to-love-her-body-but-what-really-matters-are-the-obse
https://powerfulopinions.wordpress.com/2014/04/19/mexxx-kids/
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/supporting-indigenous-daughter/

 

My “Bee The Change” Tee can be found at:
http://www.beesandweeds.com
Tell them I said hi!

I’d love to hear from you!

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My Favorite Netflix Documentaries About Women 2016

Here’s a list of the Netflix documentaries on women’s issues that I’ve watched. These first six are my favorite, fantastic and highly recommended.

*If you prefer to watch a video than read; scroll to the end to watch my YouTube video.

  1. Miss Representation

“The media is so powerful and it’s messages are everywhere. It sells the idea that girls’ and women’s value lies in their youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in their capacity as leaders. Boys learn that their success is tied to dominance, power, and aggression. We must value people as whole human beings, not gendered stereotypes.” From the website

Here are some statistics that the documentary mentioned:

  • 53% of 13-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies
  • 78% of 17-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies
  • 65% of women and girls have an eating disorder
  • 17% of teens engage in cutting and self-injurious behavior
  • Rates of depression among girls and women have doubled between 2000 and 2010

*SideNote:

From the company that made Miss Representation, The Mask You Live In is the boys’ equivalent. It’s really good too.

In That Gal… Who Was in That Thing: That Guy 2, actresses talk about their personal lives and balancing family responsibilities with being a professional actor. I list this one because it addresses some of the same issues.

  1. The Women’s List

The Women’s List is a set of intimate interviews with 15 women, all trailblazers in their respective fields. The interviews touch on a range of topics including addiction, being a mother, their own mothers, their childhood, careers, politics, advice to girls, miscarriages, the “have it all” myth, and amazing moments in their lives. You will laugh and cry. There is a variety of ages, professions, and ethnicities. I LOVED it!

  1. The True Cost

This one is about the fast fashion industry and the consequences of buying into it. Girls of all ages should watch this because we are the buyers and we are the targets of fast fashion and need to know the implications of our choices.

You can find the graph I used in the video here:

Harvard Business Review’s article “The Female Economy”: 

  1. The Hunting Ground

The Hunting Ground is about the incidence of sexual assault on college campuses in the United States and the failure of college administrations to deal with it adequately.  It’s shocking and disturbing to hear not only their rape stories but the college administrators’ responses when they were told.

  1. Mission Blue

Mission Blue interviews Sylvia Earle on her life and work, and the state of the oceans. She has had an astounding career and influence on her field, marine biology.

  1. Brave Miss World

Brave Miss World tells the story of Miss Israel, who was abducted, stabbed, and raped at age 18, six weeks before representing her country in the Miss World competition. When, to her shock, she was crowned the winner, she vowed to do something about rape.

After watching these, you’ll need to watch something happy!

Twinsters – Just a happy, amazing story.  It will make you smile and cry happy tears. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that there is good in the world.

MaidentripLaura Dekker, a 14-year-old sailor, sets out on a two-year voyage to become the youngest person to sail around the world alone. But it’s about sooo much more than that. She finds herself, her family, her place in the world, and analyzes her relationship with her peers, which was always awkward because she never bought into their definition of what is cool and how she should be. I really enjoyed it and while I still would never want to sail around the world it, was inspiring.

A Ballerina’s Tale Misty Copeland becomes the first African-American woman to be promoted to principal dancer for the American Ballet Theatre.They discuss why that is such an amazing feat, and the impact it had on African Americans, all girls of color, and the future of ballet.

I must confess, it did not make me want to put my girl in ballet class. I might be crucified for saying this, but it just looks to me to be an unhealthy activity for both the body and the mind.

History Lesson!

The Ascent of Woman – From the movie’s website: “A groundbreaking four-part documentary series originally created for BBC2 in the UK that charts the role of women in society over the course of 10,000 years.”

She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry – On the modern women’s movement from 1966 to 1971.   

What Happened, Miss Simone? – A documentary about the life and legend Nina Simone, an American singer, pianist, and civil rights activist labeled the “High Priestess of Soul.” – From IMDB website

Three documentaries that are hard to watch!

Hot Girls Wanted – “A first-ever look at the realities of the professional “amateur” porn world and the steady stream of 18-to-19-year old girls entering into it.” From the website

“More people visit porn sites each month than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined! Amateur porn sites are becoming more and more popular.” From the movie

Tricked – “Considers the evolving sex trafficking landscape as seen by the main players: the exploited, the pimps, the johns that fuel the business, and the cops who fight to stop it.” From IMDB

Sexybaby – “An ex adult film star, a 12-year-old-girl, and a 22-year-old who yearns for “normal” private parts are chronicled in this thought-provoking documentary about how porn, social media and pop culture affect women and girls.” From the website

Controversial!

After Tiller – “Since the assassination of Dr. George Tiller in Kansas in May 2009, there are only four American doctors left who openly provide third-trimester abortions.” From the website

Just wanted to mention…

First Comes Love – Single at age 41, Nina, the filmmaker and narrator, decides to have a baby on her own and films the whole process.

Girl Rising – No longer on Netflix. 🙁 The stories of nine girls from developing countries overcoming great obstacles to obtain an education and change their fates.

My Favorite Clip From Crystal’s Interview

MASTURBATION!!! awkward

Ohhh! It’s so controversial! Why?
Most people do it and most importantly it’s NORMAL and HEALTHY for our girls. I hope you enjoy this clip. The first part is a conversation, and the second is an informational vlog style recap.

I also talk about PORN and how it’s now a part of the conversation. I hope to do more videos on porn and educating all of us on how to handle this ugly topic with our kids. (If you know someone who is informed on this please share their information with me.)

porn-seen

Don’t forget to Comment! Share! and Subscribe!

 

 

My Interview With Crystal Bowden

Crystal has inspired me in so many ways from her community work to her shaving strike, but my favorite thing about her is after a traumatic hospital birth with her son she educated and empowered herself, and then had a planned, unassisted, home birth with her daughter. I just love that! She is inspiring and I love her!

In this 48-minute interview Crystal and I talk about children’s exposure to porn, masturbation, the on going sex talk, being present and not rushing childhood or adulthood, drugs (specifically meth), the awkwardness of one’s menarche, and more.  If you’d like to digest it in smaller bits, I have a playlist called “Interview Clips: Issues Girls and Parents Face” where you can watch the interview one topic at a time. Let me know what you think!

Crystal Bowden currently resides with her husband and two children in Conyers, GA. She is passionate about her community and supporting other women in their endeavors. Crystal spends her time homeschooling her children, reading smutty novels, drinking wine and hardcore Netflixing when she is not running her two businesses, which is not frequent enough. She dreams of the day when she can afford to hire a personal assistant, so buy some leggings or books. You can buy those leggings hereOr some books here. Literacy is good, y’all!

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Links and Resources from the interview:

Stuff Mom Never Told You: Masturbation By Numbers podcast

Hilarious video about how masturbation is good for women

It’s Perfectly Normal

UKnowKids, I haven’t used this, but it looks awesome!

My “Feminist” tee can be found hereTell them I said hi!

Find me here:

Facebook 

YouTube

My second interview is with Rachel Hart

I wanted to interview Rachel because she has a teenage daughter and works with women every day. She understands the power of women coming together and sharing and talking about these issues. She’s a homebirth midwife and is serving her community in a crucial way.

In this 45-minute interview Rachel describes the beautiful coming of age ceremony she hosted for her daughter’s 13th birthday, the dance culture from a parent’s perspective, the roles we as women play, overcoming a difficult childhood, finding forgiveness and self acceptance, and the importance of communication and connection when parenting a teen.

If you’d like to digest it in smaller bits, I have a playlist called “Interview Clips: Issues Girls and Parents Face” where you can watch the interview one topic at a time. Let me know what you think!

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This is Rachel’s bio, which can be found on Birthing Way Midwifery’s website.

Rachel Hart

I am a traditional midwife and CPM. I moved to Atlanta from Las Vegas with my husband and four children in 2008. I am a graduate of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas with a Bachelor’s degree in English. I began my midwifery journey through an apprenticeship training program in 2005 and began my own practice in 2007.  All four of my children were born at home, the last birth unassisted. I joined Beth at Birthing Way in 2010.

Helping women realize their true power and potential as a woman and mother through the birthing process has been a privilege. I have really enjoyed attending births with the lovely families here in Georgia. I also support the birth community as secretary of the Georgia Midwifery Association and as Membership Director of the Georgia Birth Network.

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Here are all the links and the information I promised in the interview!

13th Birthday Rite of Passage resources

Tony Robbins,“Out of pain comes unbelievable strength.” I AM NOT YOUR GURU | Official Trailer | Netflix

“I Am Enough” Tee and many other awesome products from Bees and Weeds

Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Her TEDtalks: The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame

Jackie Brewton’s Website 

Youtube video: Why teen girls have sex: The uneven exchange…

 

You can find me here:

Raising Tomorrow’s Women Website

Facebook

YouTube

Please Like and Subscribe!!!

The Coming of Age Ceremony, or 13th Birthday “Rite of Passage”

Hannah Blessing

In my interview with Rachel Hart, we talk about the coming of age ceremony, or 13th birthday “rite of passage,” she planned for her daughter. She was inspired by the blessingways she holds for moms-to-be in her midwifery practice.

“Turning 13 is a rite of passage from childhood into adolescence,” Rachel said. “Our society doesn’t honor that in any way. I know so many people whose mothers never even spoke to them about getting their period.”

While some celebrate getting their period, many girls wouldn’t want the extra attention that would bring and want to keep that moment private, so the 13th birthday just makes sense.

Rachel is just as passionate about this topic as I am. We both believe that this is something that should be honored and celebrated. And we want to put these ideas out there for all of you in hopes that you will also start this tradition with your girls.  Rachel has graciously written out for us all the details of her daughter’s ceremony, and provided a few pictures.

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Hannah Blessing 1

From Rachel:

Disclaimer- None of this is my original idea. I was simply playing on other traditional ceremonies, especially the blessing ceremony we offer to our moms around 36 weeks of pregnancy to celebrate and honor the holy vessels women are and the transition they will experience through labor and motherhood.

I wanted her 13th birthday to be a celebration of her transitioning into womanhood, without the potential humiliation of lots of attention surrounding the start of her period, so I chose the 13th birthday as the time to do it. I invited four of her friends and their mothers. I wanted her to feel beautiful and special and surrounded by women and friends who love her. The attention to detail as far as aesthetics was just as important. What woman doesn’t like feeling beautiful and being surrounded by beauty?

Hannah Blessing 2

 

My Prep

  1. I ordered flower bouquets of assorted daisies and roses for the mothers. I had flower wreaths for the girls’ hair.
  2. I planned a dinner for after the ceremony.
  3. I had matching silver bracelets with each girl’s birthstone on it, and matching bracelets for the moms with their birthstones as well.
  4. I decorated the walls with pictures of Hannah from birth to 12 years and hung them in the shape of hearts.
  5. I printed around 30 woman-inspiring quotes and pictures to remind the girls how unique and important and capable they all are.
  6. For the ceremony I used a white blanket on the floor with places set with the wreaths, bouquets, and candles all around the blanket and room, so the only light was candlelight.
  7. I asked the guests to bring a gift of love, something handmade, or something special they wanted to tell Hannah.

Birthstone Bracelet

Ceremony

  1. We all gathered in a circle on the blanket, moms next to their daughters. I explained what the purpose of the ceremony was and we passed a smudge stick around the circle to clear the energy and prepare ourselves to be fully present with the experience.
  2. I dabbed a little lavender essential oil on her forehead and held her hand while I said a prayer. Any beautiful scent is ok. It’s just to add to the beauty of the experience. The prayer I recited is the same that we say to our moms during their blessing ceremony.  “Full Name”, On the day you were born, God lifted you up and said, “Behold, all you on Earth, into your midst has come this new life. Born of God, Child of the Universe, all creation celebrates the gift of you.”
  3. Next, we honor all the women who have come before us and offer our blessings, so each person lit a candle and said, “I am “Full Name”, granddaughter of …“Full Name”, daughter of…, mother of…, and we offer you our blessings.” The person who receives the blessing says the same, except she finishes with, “and I receive your blessings.”
  4. The guests offered their gifts of love. Someone made Hannah a collage of different times they had spent together, for example.
  5. I also had family members and her 5th grade teacher, who was such a blessing, write letters to Hannah that the guests took turns reading. These were letters of encouragement for her teenage years and their wishes for her in the future.
  6. We cut out the circle of women poem “Woven” (see below), and after each person read, we would say, “The circle is never broken”, to signify the bond we have as women past, present, and future. Then we gifted each guest with their bracelets and closed with a prayer of gratitude that was just made up on the fly.

Hannah Blessing 4

Woven

(Each person reads a line at a time.)

As women have always woven, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven the time and the fates, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven the seeds with the earth, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven baskets and tools, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven threads into clothing and shelter, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven words into poetry and songs, so we weave this ribbon into the circle of our lives.

As women have always woven, so we weave this ribbon with the Goddess who is with us. The Goddess is with us. May we feel her presence in our daily lives.

We call on the Goddess whose body we see and feel reflected in our bodies.

We call on the Goddess whose blood, like our blood, flows with the cycles of the universe.

We call on the Goddess whose circle is never broken, whose circle we are a part of wherever we go.

Today we do not break this circle but each of us carries part of it into the world.

The circle is never broken.

(Repeated as a group after each line is read.)

Hannah Blessing 3

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THANK YOU, RACHEL! For all these ideas and resources. Please, reader, take these and be inspired. Honor your daughters and please share the experience and your own ideas and resources with us here in the comments.

My First Interview!

My first interview is with Jasmine Darland. I wanted to interview her because she had an extraordinary childhood and grew up to be a powerhouse for change at both international and local levels. We barely scratched the surface of all the topics we could talk about, so I hope she’ll let me talk to her again soon. In this 30 minute interview Jasmine speaks to me about her childhood and the values she was taught, growing up in a Waldorf community, menarche, teenage rebellion, teen interest in drugs, how we speak to girls and its effect on them, dating, sex-ed, activism, parenting, sacred women’s groups, and safe groups for girls. If you’d like to digest it in smaller bits, I have a playlist called Interview Clips: Issues Girls and Parents Face where you can watch the interview one topic at a time. Let me know what you think!

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Thank you for your support!

 

About Jasmine:
I was raised in the Waldorf school movement and grew up with my two brothers in a strawbale house that my parents built with their own hands. My parents are philosophers, artists, educators, and idealists, and I defined myself by being a little more mainstream and conservative. I have a MA from Johns Hopkins, and I spent many years working with the Coast Guard in International Affairs, working with the global community to stop the trafficking of drugs and humans. Aaron and I were foster parents for years and have participated in parenting 6 young women, including the two who live with us now. I believe in utopia, and that anything and everything is possible. I am a student of community, of how we construct positive and supportive community around ourselves and our families. In addition to serving as Director of The Garden, Georgia’s first forest school, I am overjoyed to have recently received an incredible fellowship from the 500 Communities initiative to develop an ecovillage project in the Marietta area.

Science-y Things

Introduce and encourage science and exploration to your daughter, even if you are not so inclined.

Subscribe!!! Watch on YouTube: Raising Tomorrow’s Women: Science

Here is the video Transcription:

Hello Everyone!

I’m sure you can relate when I say that I don’t want my shortcomings to hold my girl back. And I know what you’re thinking… “Which one of your shortcomings are you referring to, Bethany?” Well, today I’m referring to my lack of knowledge and interest in science-y things. Not just the difficult physics and chemistry, oh no. I also don’t love being out in nature. I hate to admit it, but I don’t like bugs, flying insects, being hot or cold, mud, being dirty. You get the picture. So I wrote to Anna, the host of Gross Science, to see if she had any advice for me…

AND…she wrote back!

She was so encouraging. She said, and I’m paraphrasing, that her parents were a bit germaphobic and weren’t outdoorsy people. But they didn’t freak out when they saw bugs, they took her to parks and botanical gardens, and allowed her to explore and get dirty. One pivotal moment in her childhood was when she was given a slime chemistry set.

Also, and this is where you come in, she said she would talk to her science friends and work on a video for us! She asked that we pass on any additional questions. So, if you have any questions for Anna or questions about daughters and science, put them in the comments and I’ll pass them along.

If you are interested in checking out other badass women making science videos use the links below:

These girls are awesome!

Gross Science
Physics Girl
The Brain Scoop
Science! It’s a Girl Thing